Youth Conference

I know most of these people now.  :) 

So  this last week we had a pretty awesome 3-day youth conference at the church I was J-s-s at.

It was a very refreshing and focused time, I felt more at home than I have here all together.  It was great getting to be around young people in a more relaxed setting...two of young people I'm closest to were even on my team (Dani, who stayed with me the whole time when I got super-sick at the Christmas party, and Sehee, who, I explained to the other people there, is my little sister.  We get really excited around each other and speak in English and Russian and crazy.)  which was really cool and a God thing.   It was awesome to get to pray with them, to play songs with them.  I shared the Russian translation of "Sustainer" on the last day, and I think it really touched people.  Another highlight was getting to go on one game through the city...we actually...didn't figure out the way the game properly.  But we served the city a little instead.  

Zoë, our quiet little artist lady, did some rapping...

God really spoke to me through the sermons.  The third sermon was "how to change" which is something I've been begging God to answer me on for a few weeks.  He made a good point...in that...we make time for what's important to us, and guilting ourselves or trying to want something harder isn't going to change anything.  We need to change our hearts, and our priorities.  When I sit down and decide to watch a tv show to relax, I think the most important thing is me and my comfort and I just "can't be bothered" with dealing with problems or helping others.    But doing what I should instead gives a lot more peace.

Some of Team Kazakhstan

Another one of the sermons was about not putting aside our callings and talents and letting them fall by the wayside in our lives, but focusing and completing the tasks God has given us.  This one bothered me a lot:  I haven't recorded an album (although I've gotten two written), played a concert of my songs, preached a sermon, learned (much) Kyrgyz, or opened a children's home in the last 2 years.  My confidence isn't quite shattered, but it's...taken some pretty big dents...the most constant frustrations are being worn out from school and being underestimated by those around me.  I'm really good at meeting people's expectations; it really sucks for me when they're low, but at the same time, what is the legacy I'm leaving?  When am I going to get around to these projects that are...so much at the heart of who I am?  And how do I do MORE when I'm already too far on the work side of the work/life balance, using work often as a medication for spirtual or social failings?  I don't know.  Pray for me please.