I went on to Fort Worth and went to youth group with a family I used to babysit for, and the youth pastor spoke from Phillipians, where Paul, talking about everything he had attained in life as trash, presses forward to take hold of that which Christ took ahold of him for. Ministry is not a place we arrive at, but something we strive for, just as God, like any relationship, is not a special knowledge we attain, but an infinitely complex other that we strive to know and understand. I thought that when I became a missionary, I would have to live by faith, and that the battle would be over. Hardly. When I focus on my effectiveness, the devil tries to separate me from God and make my own solutions; when I focus on God, the devil tries to get me to focus on my effectiveness, inserting doubt and trying to make me into a driven, soulless son-of-a-bitch for Jesus. He wins twice over if I get to that point.
The Howards are an awesome family. It was so awesome to see how talented and intelligent these two guys I used to babysit are! (Those homeschool kids, pretty impressive...one of the other guys I used to babysit for just put out an album!) I was here for just a Wednesday night, and it was so cool to see them working as a team in ministry, from setting up for Awana, which Mr. Howard leads, to mom and Curt both being leaders at youth group in their way. It was a restful and encouraging stop on my journey, well worth stopping off.
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